Marriage is a commitment generally taken for life, yet it has a very high rate
of failure, infidelity is common and divorce/ remarriage a common practice.
In ancient times, sex, intimacy and reproduction was something that just
happened although usually with the blessing of the community.
In many tribal cultures, what we take for marriage was a public acknowledgement of an affection which also represented the continuity
of the tribe. Within these tribal groups, very few of these 'marriage' relationships were exclusive as it was recognised that attraction
between people comes and goes. Therefore, the concept of infidelity did not exist although it is highly probable that emotions like jealousy
were not uncommon.
Marriage today fulfils many dreams and ideas that are not necessarily
grounded in any reality.
The modern marriage within Western society is supposed to be exclusive, yet has a high failure rate and where there is no outlet for
the frustrations that often build up within marriage relationships, the end result is often violence that the authorities attempt to manage
by passing new laws that fail to work because the fundamental issues of humanity are not understood or addressed.
Why get married?
- To be married and have children.
This is part of the most basic desire to have children or to fit into society
- To form an economic unit.
In today's world, marriage is a partnership towards economic sustainability
In discussing the pros and cons of marriage, we must ask:
For Marriage to work, there must be:
- Does love matter?
- Do you want to get married?
- Should you get married?
- Does your family want you to?
- Is marriage necessary?
- Will marriage make a better life?
- love - is key and the most important aspect.
- desire - if you don't' have desire for the other, why bother?
- appreciation - if you cannot appreciate or admire the others qualities, why bother?
- trust - if you cannot trust the other, you are in trouble
- surrender - everything of your past must be given up to the new relationship
- a prenuptial agreement - simply because the legal systems in most countries damages people who divorce through the legal system
Things Guaranteed to Upset a Marriage
- need - if you are in need of saving, or whatever, get sorted before entering marriage.
- prenuptial agreement - while this is an important element for a successful marriage, it also indicates the marriage is temporary and at some time doomed to failure. Really you are damned if you do and damed if you don't.
- want - whatever it is, want can will lead to control issues and a disastrous marriage
- Infidelity - a sure way to strain a relationship even if your not found out.
Why Not To Get Married
Like for getting married, there are many good reasons not to including:
- Knowledge of the truth of ones life path
- Fear of Failure
- Fear of Divorce and its consequences